Vingo

【豹冬】If you walk the footstep of a stranger (全文连结)

这是一位我哭着跪舔的太太……
感谢她的文章伴我熬过了乏味的初三生涯
文笔好到“让所有的幻想黯然失色”.
我祈祷 在无数个平行宇宙中
总会有一个如此美好的吧唧
遇到一个如此美好的陛下
找到来之不易的平静和安宁.
此生无悔入豹冬 上刀山下火海为不名太太打 call!
谢谢你让我相信“现在是最好的 而明天会更好”
这篇文会一直支持我走过以后或灰暗或辉煌的日子.
爱您!
爱豹冬!

不名:

從1/24開始,11/11寫完,2017最走心就是這篇了


趁最後一天弄個目錄,比較方便閱讀


【豹冬】If you walk the footstep of a stranger


第一章  第二章  第三章  第四章  第五章


第六章  第七章  第八章  第九章  第十章


十一章  十二章  十三章  十四章  十五章


十六章  十七章  十八章  十九章  二十章


二十一  二十二  二十三  二十四  二十五


二十六  完結  




順便放個最走腎


【豹冬/ABO】第一次见面看你不太顺眼


PART1  PART2  PARE3  PART4




新年快樂 !希望2018年有更多糧 !有更多人掉進坑 !XD

“你成功了吗?”
“代价是什么?”
“我的一切。”

存档灵魂:











我们像是各自人生的难民。


【英】珍妮特·温特森




我现在知道,


我们能通过被爱与爱人得到治愈。


▼ 


自有伤口以来,我一生都在努力。


▼ 


对一个人而言,没有意义的一生,也毫无动物自然的尊严;


我们不能只是吃、睡、狩猎和繁殖,我们是追求意义的生物。


▼ 


书麻烦的是,你永远不知道书里有什么,


等你知道时又为时已晚。  


▼ 


小说和诗是药剂,是解药。


它们治愈的是现实对想象的撕裂。


▼  


外在的任何东西随时都可能被夺走。


只有内心的东西才是安全的。




|  关 于 父 母 与 家 




和所有孩子一样(不论是领养的还是亲生的),我们必须活出些她未竟的人生。我们要为父母做这件事,我们其实没什么选择。




如果你是个孤独的孩子,你会找一个想象出来的朋友。




她是个如此孤独的女人。一个渴望有人懂她的孤独女人。我想,如今我真的懂她了,但为时已晚。




她的宿命论如此强力。她是她自己的黑洞,吸进了所有的光。她由暗物质组成,她的力量隐匿无形,只能通过它的效应感知其存在。




难过有那么多小孩从未得到看顾,因此未能长大。他们会变老,但无法长大。长大需要爱。如果你幸运的话,爱会在以后到来。如果你幸运的话,就不会朝挚爱脸上打去。




我自幼便学会隐蔽。藏匿我的心。掩饰我的想法。自母亲决意相信我躺的是“错误的婴儿床”时起,我的一切行为都坚定了她这一信念。她警惕地注视着我,留心是否有被魔鬼附身的迹象。




惩罚没有修正我的行为,倒是使我恨他们,不是一直都恨,而是无助的人心怀的仇恨;一种涨而又消的恨,逐渐成为我们关系的基础。




有家可离时,才可能离家。这种离开从来都不只是地理或空间上的分离;它是情感上的分离,无论你希望与否。无论你坚定还是矛盾。




对于流亡者和流浪者而言,要安置自己,关键坐标的缺失有着严重后果。在最好的情况下,这种缺失必得到处理,或以某种方式得到弥补。最糟时,一个名副其实的失所之人,不知哪一条路向北,因为没有真正的北方。没有罗盘指向。家远非遮风避雨之所而已,家是我们的重心。




我喜爱猫时常在门口半进半出的样子,既有野性又驯顺,我也是,既有野性又驯顺。我是驯养的,不过只有在门开着的时候。




我们离开原生家庭,即使在今日,也远远不只是提一个皮箱走出屋子。




在渐渐微弱的火光钱,他马上就睡着了,我坐在他身边,对他讲话,告诉他,要是我们能早一点做对的事情就好了,不过我们到底还是做了对的事,这很好,让人高兴。




苦难是她的铠甲。渐渐地,那成了她的皮肤。于是她无法脱下。她没有止痛药,在痛苦中死去。




我从未希望寻找生身父母——一对父母已令我感觉不幸,若有两对便是自毁。我对家庭生活一窍不通。我完全不知道可以喜欢自己的父母,也不知道父母可以爱你爱到让你做自己。




驱魔仪式后我进入一种缄默的苦闷状态。我常带着帐篷去菜地边上睡。我不想靠近他们。父亲不快乐。母亲很错乱。我们像是各自人生的难民。




|  关 于 生 活




有时候事情会非常不如意,使你奄奄一息;有时候你了解到,照自己的意愿一息尚存,也好过听从别人的安排,虚张声势地过着浅薄生活。




那个标记“现在位置”的箭头是你的第一个坐标。人在幼年时有许多无力改变的事。但你可以打点行囊,准备上路······




五十年后的今天,我已明白,寻获与丧失、遗忘与记忆、离去与归来从未停止。生命的全部即关乎再一次机会,我们有生之日,直到最后一刻,永远都有再一次的机会。




我发现,理智的做法只有在做很小的决定时才有效。至于改变人生的事情,你必须冒险。




我不想撤离生活。我爱过生活。我爱生活。生活对我而言太珍贵,不能不活得充实。我想:“如果我无法生活,我就必须死。”




当我们活在一个机械化的世界时,时间才真正上了锁。于是我们成了照表行事的人和时间的仆人。如同生命中的其他事物一样,时间被标准化了,变得雷同。




对一个人而言,没有意义的一生,也毫无动物自然的尊严;我们不能只是吃、睡、狩猎和繁殖,我们是追求意义的生物。




与生命共同生活很难。大多时候我们在全力扼杀生命,活得驯服或恣意。变得镇静或暴怒。不同的极端有同样的影响:将我们隔绝于生命的热烈之外。




我是个女人。我是个工人阶级的女人。我是个希望能毫无愧疚、不被取笑地去爱同性的女人。正是这三件事构成了我政治观念的基础,而不是工会或左派男性所理解的阶级斗争。




我想:“如果我不能也无法停驻在原地,那我将倾尽全力前行。”




| 关 于 情 绪 与 和 解




有时候,我们心中往往有既多变又强大的部分——那高涨的愤怒能够毁掉你和他人,有倾覆一切的势头。我们无法与强大又暴怒的那部分自己协商,除非我们教它变得老实,意即把它塞回瓶中,证明谁才是掌权者。这不是压制,而是找寻一个容器。




离开心理的某处比起离开物理的某处,耗费的时间要长得多。




心灵比意识之所能聪明得多。我们将事情深深埋藏,深到不再记得有事被埋藏。我们的身体记得。我们的神经状态记得。但我们不记得。




我们衡量疯狂的标准一直在变化。比起历史上任何时期,或许我们现在对疯狂的容忍度是最低的。没有余地疯狂。关键是,没有时间疯狂。




发疯需要时间。清醒需要时间。




有许多事我们无法说出口,因为它们太过痛苦。我们希望能说出口的事情会抚慰余下未说的事,或以某种方式平息它。故事是弥补。




伤口是象征,无法被简化为任何单一的解释。但受伤似乎是生而为人的线索或关键。其中有价值,也有痛苦。




分娩本身就是伤口。女性每月流的血曾具有神奇的意义。婴儿闯入世界,撕裂母体,而孩子幼小的头骨得以保持柔软和脆弱。孩子是愈合,也是割裂。是失去与寻回的地方。


自有伤口以来,我一生都在努力。要治愈它,代表着结束一种身份——定义我的身份。但愈合的伤口并非消失的伤口。永远会有伤疤。我会借着伤疤得到辨认。




| 关 于 爱




我需要爱的课程。我仍旧需要,因为没有任何事比爱更简单,没有任何事比爱更困难。




无条件的爱是孩子应该期望从父母那里得到的爱,虽然很少事如人意。我没有得到那种爱,我是个很紧张、警惕的孩子。我也是个小暴徒,因为没有人能将我打倒或看到我哭泣。




如果在你还小的时候,爱不可靠,你就会以为爱的本质——它的特征——就是不可靠。儿女在长大以前不会挑父母的不是。起初,你得到的爱就是你确定的爱。




爱是鲜明的。我从不要苍白的那一种。爱是用尽全力。我从不要稀释的那一种。我从不躲避爱的巨大,但我浑然不知爱可以像太阳一般可靠。日常升起的爱。




我现在知道,我们能通过被爱与爱人得到治愈。




爱。这个艰涩的字。一切起始的地方,我们必然归来的地方。爱。爱的匮乏。爱的可能。




一个人可以在独行的同时想要被认领。我们又回到生命的复杂性上,它不是非此即彼——无趣守旧的二元对立——它亦此亦彼,维持平衡。




女人大多能够付出——我们被训练成这样——但大多数女人很难接受别人付出。




听着,我们是人类。


听着,我们向往爱。


爱就在那里,但我们需要被教导如何去爱。


我们想直立,我们想行走,


但是需要有人牵着手,稍稍助我们保持平衡,


微微帮我们指引方向,在我们跌倒时将我们抱起。




存档灵魂:











可能的沉默力量。
我正在反抗,我将在希望中死去……




【法】萨特




不管怎样,世界看来是丑恶的,没有希望,


这是一个即将在这个世界里死去的老年人的不会打扰别人的失望。


但是,确切地说,我正在反抗,我将在希望中死去…… 


——让-保罗·萨特




| 论 诗 和 诗 人




散文是符号的王国,而诗歌却是站在绘画、雕塑、音乐这一边的。人们指责我厌恶诗歌:证据是《现代》杂志很少发表诗作。其实相反,这正是我们喜爱诗歌的证据。谓予不信,只要看一下当代诗歌作品就能明白。于是批评家们得意洋洋地说:“至少,你甚至不能想像让诗歌也介入。” 确实如此。但是我为什么要让诗歌也介入呢?难道因为诗歌与散文都使用文字?可是诗歌使用文字的方式与散文不同;甚至诗歌根本不是使用文字;我想倒不如说它为文字服务。诗人是拒绝利用语言的人。因为寻求真理是在被当作某种工具的语言内部并且通过这个工具完成的,所以不应该想像诗人们以发现并阐述真理为目的。他们也不会想到去给世界命名,事实上他们没有叫出任何东西的名字,因为命名永远意味着名字为被命名的客体作出牺牲,或者用黑格尔的说法,名字面对有本质性的物体显示了自身的非本质性。诗人们不说话;他们也不是闭口不语:这是另一个问题。


人们说诗人们想通过匪夷所思的组合摧毁语言,这样说是错的。因为如果诗人们果真这样做,他们必定事先已经被投入功利语言的天地,企图通过些奇特的、小巧的词组,如把“马”和“黄油”组合成“黄油马”,从这一天地中取出他们需要的词。且不说这项事业要求无限长的时间,我们也不能设想人们可以同时既处在功利计划的层面上,把词看成一些工具,同时又冥想苦想怎样除掉词的工具性。事实上,诗人一了百了地从语言工具脱身而出;他一劳永逸地选择了诗的态度,即把词看作物,而不是符号。因为符号具有模棱两可性,人们既可以自由自在地像穿过玻璃一样穿过它去追逐它所指的物,也可以把目光转向符号的事实,把它看作物,说话的人越过了词,他靠近物体;诗人没有达到词。对于前者,词是为他效劳的仆人;对于后者,词还没有被驯化。对于说话的人,词是有用的规定,是逐渐磨损的工具,一旦不能继续使用就该把它们扔掉;对于诗人,词是自然的物、它们像树木和青草一样在大地上自然地生长。


对于诗人来说,语言是外部世界的一种结构。说话的人位于语言内部,他受到词语的包围:词语是他们感官的延长,是他的螯,他的触角,他的眼镜;他从内部操纵词语,他像感知自己的身体一样感知它们,他被语言的实体包围,但他几乎意识不到这一影响遍及世界的语言实体的存在。诗人处在语言外部,他从反面看词语,好像他不是人类一分子,而是他向人类走去,首先遇到语言犹如路障挡在他面前似的。他不是首先通过事物的名称来认识物,而是首先与物有一种沉默的接触,然后转向对他来说本是另一种物的词语,触摸它们,试探它们,他在它们身上发现一种洁净的、小小的亮光,以及与大地、天空、水域和所有造物的特殊亲和力,他不屑把词语当作指示世界某一面貌的符号来使用,而是在词里头看到世界某一面貌的形象。他因其与柳树和榛树相像而选用的语言形象未必就是我们用来称呼这些客体的名词本身。由于诗人已经位于语言外部,词语对他来说就不是使他脱离自身,把他抛向万物中间的指示器。他把它们看作捕捉躲闪不定的现实的陷阱;总之,全部语言对于诗人来说是世界的镜子。于是乎词的内部结构就产生重要的变化。词的发音,它的长度,它以开音节或闭音节结尾,它的视觉形态合在一起为诗人组成一张有血有肉的脸,这张脸与其说是表达意义,不如说它表现意义。所以诗意的词是一个微型宇宙。


本世纪初发生的语言危机是诗的危机。不管什么是促成这一危机的社会与历史因素,它表现为作家面对词严重丧失自己的个性。他不再知道如何使用词;用柏格森那句有名的话来说,他对词只认出一半。词不再属于他,它们不再就是他,但是这些陌生的镜子反映着天空、大地和他本人的生命;最后词变成物本身,或者说得更谁确一些,变成物的黑色核心。当诗人把好几个这一类的微型宇宙连在一起的时候,他做的事情等于画家把颜色集合在画布上;人们以为他在造一个句子,但这仅仅是表象:其实他在创造一个客体。词-客体通过神奇的相亲或相斥关系组合起来,与色彩和声音一样,它们相互吸引,相互排斥,它们燃烧起来,于是它们的集合就组成真正的诗的单位,即句子客体。对于诗人来说,句子有一种调性,一种滋味;诗人通过句子品尝责难、持重、分解等态度具有的辛辣味道,他注重的仅是这些味道本身;他把它们推向极致,使之成为句子的真实属性;句子整个儿成为责难,但又不是对任何具体东西的责难。


如在下面这两句出色的诗里:


啊,四季!啊,城堡!


谁的灵魂没有缺陷?


谁也没有受到询问;谁也没有提问:诗人不在其中。询问不要求回答,或者应该说它本身就是回答。那么这是否是假的询问?但是如果人们以为兰波想说:人人都有缺陷,这是荒唐的。勃勒东·德·圣保尔-鲁说过:“如果他想说这个意思,他会明说的。”但是他也不想说别的意思。他提出一个绝对的询问:他把一种询问性的存在赋予灵魂这个美丽的词。于是询问变成物,犹如丁托列托的焦虑变成黄色的天空。这不再是一种意义,而是一种实质,它是从外部被看到的。兰波正是邀请我们与他一起从外部去看它,它的古怪正在于我们为了观看它而把自己的位置放在人的状况的另一边,即上帝这一边。




|  人 是 其 可 能 的 总 和    




人的时间是不是没有未来?我可以把钉子的时间、泥块的时间或者原子的时间理解为永恒的现在。但人是一个能思想的钉子吗?如果你把人投入宇宙时间、行星和星云的时间、第三纪和动物种类的时间中,就像投入硫酸池一样,那么问题就解决了。但在每一瞬间不断受到冲击的意识,首先是一个意识,然后才具有时间性;有谁相信时间可以从外部来到意识这里吗?意识能够“存在于时间之中”,只是由于它处于变成时间的境况之中,而这是通过它变成的运动实现的。用海德格尔的话讲,它应该变成“时间化”。


我们再不可能把人阻止在每一个现在并把这限定为“他所是的总和”。正好相反,意识的本性意味着它把自身投射到未来。我们只能通过它将要成为的东西而理解它。它的当下现在是由它自身的可能性而决定的。这就是海德格尔所说的“可能的沉默力量”。


你无法在自己身上找到福克纳式的人,他被剥夺了可能性,只能以其过去的东西来解释自己。如果你让自己的意识固定不动并予以审视,就可以发现它是空的,其中你能看到的只有未来。


我甚至不说你的计划和期待。就拿你在短暂一瞬间捕捉到的一个手势来说,只有当你把它设计为超出自身之外,在你之外,进入还未实现的未来,它对你才有意义。


人不是他现有一切的总和,而是他还没有的东西的总体,是他可能有的东西的总体。如果我们就这样沉浸在未来之中,现在那种无形的残酷不就是被减弱了吗?单个的事件并非像一个贼那样徒然出现在我们面前,因为其本性是一个已经存在的未来。如果一个历史学家想去解释过去,他难道不应该首先寻求它的未来吗?福克纳在人的生活中发现的荒谬性恐怕是他自己放上去的。这并非说生活不是荒谬的,但那是另一种荒谬。


为什么福克纳和那么多作家选择了这种特殊的荒谬性,而它既不具有小说的特点也不真实?我想,我们应该从我们现在的生活境况中来找原因。在我看来,福克纳的绝望感已经超出了他的形而上学。对他来说,对我们所有人来说,未来已被封闭。我们看到的和经历的一切都好像是在对我们说:“这维持不下去!”而除了一种大灾变的形式外,无法想像会有其它什么改变。


我们生活在一个不可能发生革命的时代,福克纳运用他那杰出的艺术描绘了我们的窒息状态和衰老垂死的世界。我喜欢他的艺术,但我不相信他的形而上学。一个被封闭的未来仍然是一个未来。“即使人的实在除了在其‘之前’什么都没有,即使‘它已经给自己结清了账’,它的存在仍然由这种“自我期待’所决定。例如,所有希望的丧失,并没有剥夺掉具有可能性的人的实在;这只是意味着一种通向那些同样可能性的存在方式。”




|  论 生 活




当你生活时,什么事也不会发生。环境在变化,人们进进出出,如此而已。从来不会有开始。日子一天接着一天,无缘无故地。这是一种没有止境的、单调乏味的加法。时不时地你会作部小说,你说:我已经旅行三年了。我在布维尔已经住了三年了。但是这不会有结尾,你不可能一劳永逸地离开一个女人、一位朋友、一座城市。再说,一切都很相似。两星期以后,上海、莫斯科、阿尔及尔,都是一回事。有时——这种时候罕见——你检查自己的位置,发现你和一个女人粘上了,你被卷入一件不光彩的事,但这个念头转瞬即逝。一长串的日子又开始了,你又开始做加法:小时、天。星期一、星期二、星期三,四月、五月、六月,一九二四、一九二五、一九二六。


这,这就是生活。可是当你讲述生活时,一切都变了,只不过这种变化不为人们所注意罢了。证据便是你说你讲的是真实的故事,仿佛世上确有真实的故事。事件朝某个方向产生,而我们从反方向来讲述。你似乎从头说起:“那是一九二二年秋天的一个傍晚,我在马罗姆当公证人的书记。”实际上,你是从结尾开始的。结尾在那里,它无形,但确实在场,是它使这几句话具有开端的夸张和价值。“我一面散步,一面想我的拮据,不知不觉地出了村。”这句话就它的本意而言,表明说话人心事重重、闷闷不乐,与奇遇相隔万里,即使有事件从身边掠过,他也视而不见。然而结尾在那里,它改变了一切。在我们眼中,说话人已经是故事的主人公。他的烦闷、他的拮据比我们的烦闷和拮据要珍贵得多,它们被未来热情的强光照成金黄色。叙述是逆向进行的。瞬间不再是随意地相互堆砌;而是被故事结尾啄住,每个瞬间又引来前一个瞬间:“天很黑,路上没有人。”这句话被漫不经心地抛出,仿佛是多余的,但我们可别上当,我们将它放在一边。这是信息,到后来我们才明白它的价值。主人公所体验的这个夜晚的一切细节,都仿佛是预示,仿佛是诺言,甚至可以说,他只体验那些诺言性的细节,而对那些不预示奇遇的事情则视而不见、听而不闻。我们忘记了未来还没有来到,那人在毫无预兆的黑夜里散步,黑夜向他提供杂乱而单调的财宝,他并不作选择。


我希望我生活的瞬间像回忆中的生活瞬间一样前后连贯,井然有序。这等于试图从尾巴上抓住时间。


人的不幸在于他被时间制约。“人者,无非是其不幸的总和而已。你以为有朝一日不幸会感到厌倦,可是到那时,时间又变成了你的不幸了。”我们把时间和时序混为一谈了,人发明了日期和时钟。“经常猜测一片人为的刻度盘上几根机械指针的位置,这是心智有毛病的征象,父亲说,这就像出汗一样,也是种排泄。”要理解真正的时间,必须抛弃这一人为的计时尺度,它什么也测不出来:“只要那些小齿轮在卡嗒卡嗒地转,时间便是死的;只有钟表停下来时,时间才会活过来。”所以昆丁砸毁他的手表这动作具有象征意义:它使我们进入没有钟表的时间。白痴班吉的时间也是没有钟表的,因为他不识钟表。


这样出现的时间,是现在。这个现在不是在过去和未来之间乖乖地就位于并成为两者的理想界线的那个时间:这一现在本质上是灾难性的:它像贼一样逼近我们的事件,怪异而不可思议,——它来到我们跟前又消失了。从这个现在再往前,什么也没有了,因为未来是不存在的。现在从不知什么地方冒出来,它赶走另一个现在;这是一个不断重新计算的总数。“还有......还有……再还有…...”




| 最 后 一 位 哲 学 家(节选)


【文】杜小真




萨特的一生是为自由而抗争的一生,其哲学思想也正是这种人生态度的反映,他最根本的观点就是认为人是自由的,人注定是自由的,按他的说法,人是被判定为自由的,不是我们选择了自由,而是自由选择了我们,自由决定了我们的存在,我们的本质,总之,自由是我们所承担的一种沉重命运。


要理解萨特这一思想,还必须先了解一下萨特形成这种思想的哲学前提。萨特把世界分为自在的存在和自为的存在,自在的存在是人们的感觉内容,是意识之外不以人的意志为转移的客观的现实的东西,自为的存在则不是一个物,而是使自在的存在得以显现的意识。从这一前提出发,萨特发展出了他重要的哲学概念一一恶心。


 “恶心”是萨特一部小说的名字,并从而成为他的一个重要哲学概念。这部小说讲一个叫做洛根丁的人经过几年的旅行生活之后,来到了布维尔市。他曾希望安静地进行研究,从而摆脱人生的烦恼,可是,有一天他发现自己的感情出现了一种变化,浑身感到不舒服。只要看到周围的东西,周围的人,总之是只要接触到周围的一切,就有这种难受的感觉。他在大街上,图书馆里,咖啡馆里,公园里都受到了这种感受的烦挠。这种感受就是恶心。这种恶心是人和自在的世界相遇而产生的一种感受,感到了外部世界的偶然性、荒谬性,感到人面对不可理解的东西时的无奈。但是,和加缪那种带着荒谬去生活不同,萨特认为这种恶心的体验,一方面表明洛根丁对自身和周遭的存在都有了清醒的认识,另一方面又说明他对外部世界持一种否定的态度,渴望从恶心中摆脱出来,所以,在萨特看来,体验到恶心就是走向自由的第一步。


因此,萨特的这种自由就具有一种否定的特征。人之存在于世界是荒谬的,也就是说人生活于世并没有什么理由,以萨特所说,人是无缘无故地被抛到了世上。这种被抛具有一种本体论的意义。然而这种被抛一旦实现,人一旦存在于世,人就有绝对的自由。人的这种自由并不在于达到某种结果,获得某种东西,而是一种内在的自我决定,没有任何东西能限制人的这种自由,萨特曾在他著名的《苍蝇》中写道:“一旦自由在一个人的灵魂里爆发了,神明对这个人也无能为力了。”


虽然人命定是自由的,但人的自由还必须有所体现。在萨特看来,自由就体现在选择之中,自由也就是一种选择的自由。人一旦被拋于世,他就开始了自由的选择,人就是在不断选择的过程中不断成为自己的。人是通过自己的自由选择而成为懦夫或是英雄,因此,人的自由的全部意义就在于人所进行的选择活动中。不过,人一旦进行了选择,他也就具有了责任,就要承担所选择行动的后果,这种责任是如此之沉重,有些人就企图逃避,企图不选择,然而萨特说你不进行选择也是一种选择,无论如何你是无法逃避选择,逃避责任。


由于人都是自由的,人和人之间具有一种相争的关系,人人都试图获得自己的自由,从而也就把他人当作对象来对待。萨特著名的《间隔》就表现了人和人之间的这种关系。剧中有三个人死后同居于象征为地狱的密室中,其中加尔森是逃兵,埃司泰乐是杀婴犯,离不开男人,追求加尔森,伊奈司是同性恋者。这三个人之间相互的存在对别人都是一种痛苦,因此,有他人就是地狱之说。


萨特这种看法未免有些过于阴郁了,受到了许多人的指责,特别是二次世界大战的经历,使他从只是个人自由的思考中走了出来,更多地注意到了他人的存在,人与人之间也并不是只有一种敌对的关系。他后来发表的哲学巨著《辩证理性批判》就讨论了许多社会的问题,强调了处境对自由的限制。不过,从根子上,萨特并没有放弃个人自由的观念,在他生命的最后几年的谈话中,他总结一生,还是把自己称作是一个无政府主义者。




节选自《他人就是地狱:萨特自由选择论集》


[法] 萨特 著,周煦良 等译,陕西师范大学出版社,2003年10月




Lord的占有欲啊……

Everybody knows.

【TRHP】WILL YOU?

不亦乐乎地爬墙系列……
非常非常爱这位太太对同性恋婚姻合法化的科普了!
彩蛋都超级给力的!

心心念念谢王爷:

生日贺,短篇完结,小甜饼一发。


 


周末要出门,所以先发上来,因为时间紧张所以没什么打磨,OOC算我的,罗琳笔下的角色都是完美的,预祝哈利生日快乐!^ - ^ 

短篇完结(8000字),属于LAST GOODBYE从属系列,剧情和正文无关,借用背景,一句话概括背景就是哈利和里德尔是恋人,生活在保护法打破后由巫师和麻瓜联合执政的德国。




推荐配乐:Beautiful Crime - Single, Tamer




 


---
 


WILL YOU?
 
2001
 
0.


2001年4月1日,荷兰同性婚姻法案生效,成为全球首个同性婚姻合法化的国家。
 
1.


“其实我不介意去荷兰...”


“我介意。”


“好吧。”Harry笑了笑,决定换个轻松点的话题,“晚上回来吃饭么?”


“不了,‪今晚和绿党开会。”


看来他企图让气氛变得轻松些的尝试并没有成功——绿眼睛欲言又止地看了对方一会,“你最近好像很忙...”话没说完就被一阵铃声打断了。Riddle拿起手机去了走廊,几分钟后,毫无预兆地,Harry听到了车库门卷起和发动机远去的声音。


搞什么...


他有些不满地皱起眉。


怎么不打声招呼就走了?


都这样好几个月了。青年叹了一口气,一挥手整理了铺满桌面的文件,然后拿起自己的手机拨了出去,“喂?Regulus,下午有空吗?我们商量一下去梵蒂冈的事...晚上?晚上...也可以。嗯,晚上见。”


 
2.


Regulus Black从酒柜里抽出一瓶2000年的拉菲。


“波尔多,合你口味么?”


“不用这么破费。”


Harry不好意思地把文件往身后背了背。他原以为Black少爷只是邀他工作之余吃个简餐,没想到对方搞得这么隆重,让他有点不好意思直接谈公事。


“哪里破费。”Regulus转过头来微微一笑,忽然身子一倾,贴着Harry的身线抓到了他背到身后的文件,温柔却不容拒绝地把它抽走了,“这些小事吃完再聊。”


他们一起离开地窖,走进餐厅。这里的布置雅致得Harry简直以为对方要和他约会。Regulus把客人带来的文件搁到一个很远的台子上,啵地一声开了酒,倒入醒酒器,然后周到地为对方斟了一杯,“最近忙么?”


“还好,你呢?”


“忙死了。”那双多情的灰眼睛闪了闪,“这个财年马上结束,我每天看财表看得眼都花了。”


“Sirius还在度蜜月?”


“是啊,在荷兰享受大好时光,把基金会的烂摊子丢给我。等忙完下周,我得好好休个假。”他忽然弯下身来,漂亮的灰眼睛打量着他的客人,“你和那位先生近期有出行的计划么?”


他问得很隐讳,但Harry还是听出了弦外之音,只能不好意思地笑了笑,“...暂时没有。”


Regulus依旧望着他,看上去心情很好,一点没有看财表看到眼花的样子。狭长的灰眼睛一如既往地清澈漂亮,在幽暗的烛火里流转着迷人的波光。如果不是两人的年纪相差太多,Harry真会以为它们在向自己暗送秋波。就在他这么想着的时候,Black少爷又开口了,“要不要和我一起出国玩玩?”


“我们不是得一起去梵蒂冈么。”


“那是工作,之后去荷兰度个假怎么样?”


“你让我陪你去找你哥哥?”


“我是在邀请你,Harry。”


“邀请我?”青年不明所以地重复了一遍。


“嗯。”Regulus暧昧地贴到他耳边,性感的声线含着一丝难以琢磨的诱惑,“只有我们俩。考虑一下?”


不远处的绿眼睛笑了起来,现在他是无论如何也无法忽视对方露骨的暗示了,“小十四,你知道我今年多少岁了么?”


“你在我心里永远都是二十四岁。”


“别开玩笑了,Regulus...”


“可他并不想和你结婚不是么?”


Harry的笑容凝固了一下,他看上去有点尴尬。


“抱歉,没什么别的意思。只是我哥哥掐着日子,法案一通过就迫不及待地跑去荷兰了。难免会让人察觉到...你的那位先生似乎不为所动?”Regulus贴得更近,柔软的气息骚弄着Harry的脖子,青年不动声色地向后撤,小少爷反倒顺着对方的动作前进了一些,“而且...我发现你最近晚上时间很空。”


“你是跟踪狂吗?”


“没准哦。”Regulus直起身子,“狂热才是爱。”他打了一个响指,珍馐铺满长桌,“来尝尝Black家族的手艺,没准你会改主意。”




3.


Harry‪五点半就醒了。床铺的另一侧平整得过分。


排除他的伴侣摸着黑铺了床的假设(至少在他们认识的六十几年里从没发生过),他可以百分百地确定对方昨晚根本没睡过这张床。这么一想不免心头火起,Harry连睡衣都没换直接下了楼,走到客厅里看着已经穿戴整齐的另一个人。那人正坐在餐桌前,一边喝着咖啡一边看早报。


“我们得谈谈。”他尽量软化了自己僵硬的语气,虽然这比抚平他的头发还要困难。桌前的人连眼睛都没抬,“谈什么?”


“从四月到现在,整整三个月,你一直在回避我。我总该有权知道为什么吧?”


“我没有回避你。”


“那要如何解释你三个月没和我睡过同一张床?”


“我回来太晚了,怕打扰到你休息。”


“你知道我从来不介意…”


“我介意。”


“Voldemort!”


桌边的人终于放下报纸,炯炯有神的黑眼睛望了过来。它们那么漆黑,像要把人拉进无底的深渊——只要一个瞬间,Harry就知道对方的心情肯定糟透了。


这很不寻常。


不是他的伴侣心情不好不寻常,而是Tom Riddle显少把自己的情绪如此直白地写在脸上。这个男人大部分时间都维持着随和,亲民,极富魅力的形象,即使和自己独处时也不例外——长年的政治生涯让Riddle已经无法和这副面具剥离,而他数不胜数的追随者,拥护者,和合作伙伴们也没有给他一个能真正剥离它的机会。


在所有人里,Harry和他认识的时间是最长的。但正因如此,他才清楚Tom Riddle年少青涩的时代早已一去不返,甚至没在这个男人的身上留下踪迹。Riddle十六岁就任职联合政府的外交官,之后的几十年都在欧洲政坛摸爬滚打,而之前的战乱岁月更是完全剥夺了他本就苍白的童年。


甚至,Harry有时会自责…也许是自己的出现夺走了对方短暂的童年,哪怕他的被监护人从来没有这么想过。二战刚结束时,Riddle曾提过一次,没有Harry出现的人生只会一塌糊涂。


仅此一次。


他们很少提及被改变了的那条时间线,甚至连它是否继续存在也不得而知——关心那个时空毫无意义——这里已经是一个完全不同的世界了。


这是Gellert Grindelwald打破了保护法的世界。


这是巫师和麻瓜逐鹿天下,科学,宗教,和魔法明争暗斗的世界。


这是Lord Voldemort统治的世界。


而格兰芬多向来不畏挑战,并且随遇而安。


Harry走上前去,弯下身,在爱人唇上轻轻一吻。


“我很担心你。”他放柔了声音,转瞬间亲昵得像只撒娇的猫咪,他早就过了喜欢和人硬碰硬的年纪,“和我说说话,好么?”


男人沉默地看了他一会,然后伸手抱住了他。“我有点累…”Riddle轻叹了一声,把头埋进了爱人怀里,“抱歉,Harry,最近有些事很难处理…”他听上去非常疲倦,可即便如此,那磁性而低沉的嗓音依旧能拨动Harry的灵魂。


“或许我可以帮上你?”


“不,这件事一定要我自己完成。”


“那至少和我聊聊?”


“不。”


看来是没什么商量的余地了。青年无奈地直笑。他该说这是固执呢?还是固执呢?


“那么,有什么我能为你做的么?”


“处理好凤凰社和梵蒂冈的关系。”


“那是我的工作,Voldy。我是问你我能为你做什么。”


漆黑的眼睛抬了起来。这么近的距离下,Harry注意到了对方的幻身咒——看来他的爱人比看上去的样子还要累。Riddle忽然一抬手,拉住了Harry的领子,“如果你不介意的话,帮我解解压吧。”


绿眼睛报复性地一笑,“我介意。”


Riddle惋惜地松开了他,“…那就算了。”


他听上去像丢了一张中头奖的彩票。但看他的样子,似乎已经意识到自己先前的冷漠很伤人,于是打定了主意不会强迫对方做什么。


Harry忍不住笑出声来。


他缓缓弯下身,单膝跪在了男人面前。碧绿的眼睛仰视着他的爱人,细长的手指摩挲着对方皮带扣上的浮纹。


“来,”Harry柔声说,“说几句好听的,没准我会改主意。”


Riddle垂眼看了他一会,最后妥协地笑了。


“…求你了,美人,帮我放松一下。”
 
4.


七月的最后一个周末,Harry和Regulus幻影移形到了梵蒂冈城外。


城中城没有围墙。它的每条街道都直通罗马。然而天主教会的心脏依旧被层层叠叠不可见的法阵保护着,巫师是不能随意幻影移形进入城内的。瑞士侍卫队身着整齐划一的制服,在西斯廷教堂富丽堂皇的大殿里接待了两位来访者,之后带着他们横穿圣彼得广场,来到了位于梵蒂冈东北角的教皇宫。这片建筑群外观很朴素,然而内部雕梁画栋,每根廊柱上都覆盖着最绮丽的彩绘。举架挑入万顷高空,别有一番遗世独立的神圣感。教宗的宫殿高高在上,俯视着整座圣彼得广场,有如上帝垂怜,俯视人间。


“请二位在此稍待片刻。”


留下这句话,侍卫队长便将Harry和Regulus丢在了空旷的大殿里。


看着侍卫队远去的背影,Black少爷不由得发笑,“就让远道而来的客人在大厅站着?梵蒂冈的待客之道真让人不敢恭维。”


“是想给我们个下马威。”Harry冷静地说,“有红绿联盟的前车之鉴,已经见怪不怪了。”他边说边把嵌着复活石的戒指取下来收进口袋。“我不想刺激到他。”看到对方疑惑的眼神,绿眼睛的青年解释道,“谁都知道我是那个人的未婚夫…”


“Harry。”Regulus忽然打断他。小少爷反手拉住了身边的人,“他不和你结婚…难道是出于政治的考虑?是为了让凤凰社和梵蒂冈和平共处?是为了不刺激到那个反同性恋的教皇…?”


绿眼睛显然被问住了,“...也…有可能。”


“他怎么能…”Black少爷气得拧起眉头,“离开他。”


“什么?”


“和我在一起。”


“Regulus…这…回头再说?”


“你——”


一阵咳嗽声打断两人。


Regulus不动声色地放开了对方的手,理了一下自己的袖扣,然后朝闯入者微微一笑。那人正从富丽堂皇的大殿彼端向他们走来。待他走近,他们才看清他清秀的脸。“Potter先生,Black先生,二位久等了。”他的声音很谦和,流利的英语带着一点卷翘的意大利腔。


绿眼睛的青年恭敬地点了点头,“Regulus,这位是Elon McGregor先生,罗马圣教会总司库,肩负着辅佐圣座的重大职务,也是现任教皇的内侍。”他们握了手,年轻的总司库示意两人不必拘礼,“教皇刚结束一个会议,会在办公室接待二位。这边请。”



5.


“贝克先生,德斯雅先生。”Riddle热情地把两人迎进了办公室,“我真想为你们开瓶香槟。”


“明天再开。”绿党党鞭伏爾克·贝克轻快地说。他从公文包里取出一份文件递给对方,“瞧瞧,今天的特批。”


“‪8月1号…”Riddle垂眼看着文件上的生效日期,“…居然是明天。”


贝克疑惑地看着他。


“不,只是…想到了一点别的事。这真是太棒了。多亏了你们。”


“多亏了您。” 声名赫赫的社会运动家杰克·德斯雅朗声说,“虽然是马拉松的第一步,但我们至少和荷兰人进入同一个赛场了。”


他们仨相视一笑。


Riddle挥了一下手,文件乖乖地锁进了抽屉。


“无论看多少次都让人觉得不可思议。”贝克赞叹道,“这是一种特殊的基因吗?”


“是的。我之前有提过么?凤凰社和布莱克基金会加入了人类基因组计划。”


“去年克林顿和布莱尔发布了草图的那个?”


“嗯。到上周为止已经完成了百分之三十的测序,据说发现了七百多条和魔法遗传相关的基因。”


“你们的政治纲领太先进了,连我们都要被比下去了。”贝克钦佩地拍了拍盟友的肩,蓝眼睛聪明地一闪,“梵蒂冈那边对你们还友好吗?”


“我们的发言人正和他们交涉呢。我们静候他的佳音吧。”Riddle朝门口比了一个请的手势,“时间不早了,我先请二位在楼下吃顿简餐?上次你对Dobby的煴火小牛肉赞誉有加,今天听说你要来,他一定要请你尝试他的新菜...”


“棒极了。杰克你一定要尝试一下,绝对不虚此行。Voldemort先生的小精灵有米其林三星的水准...”
 
6.


Regulus Black很震惊。


这种震惊直到两人走出梵蒂冈,沐浴在罗马的星空下,也没有消退——他和教皇一句话都没说上,而且教皇也不是很想搭理他的样子。因为…


“Harry,你简直…”


“嗯?”


“我该怎么说...”


“你说。”


“...我终于知道为什么Voldemort举荐你当发言人了。”Regulus狭长的灰眼睛此时瞪得圆圆的,“你口才也太好了,成段成段地引用《圣经》也就罢了,居然还记得住那些福音的章节码?梅林啊,我看那老顽固已经被你迷得神魂颠倒,恨不得立刻拉你入教了…”


绿眼睛的青年谦逊地笑了笑,“我只是年纪比较大而已。等你到了我这个岁数,也能记住的。”


“好啊,等我到了八十岁,你要记得考考我。”


Harry被逗得直笑,快活地眯起那双碧绿的眼睛。Regulus突然靠过来,另一个人疑惑地偏过头——


?!


被强吻的人后退了一大步,震惊地瞪着对方。Black少爷咧开嘴角,对面的绿眼睛却一瞬降到了冰点。


“刚才就算了。”Harry沉声说,“如果你再乱来,别怪我不客气。”


“你这么讨厌我?”


“我不讨厌你,Regulus。但你不能这么没礼貌。”


Black少爷笑了起来,“你叫这个行为…没礼貌?那我该怎么做呢?行动之前先问你,‘请问我可以和你接吻吗’?”


“对。”Harry一本正经地回答。Regulus笑着摇了摇头,“你知不知道自己越是这么欲拒还迎,就越容易勾起我的征服欲?”


“欲拒还迎?请别这么自作多情。”


“为了避免我继续自作多情,对我说‘我不喜欢你’。”


“我不喜欢你。”


小少爷略显失望地耸了耸肩,似乎有些讶异于对方这种绝情的顺从,“干脆让我死心得更彻底点吧。说说看你为什么不喜欢我。”


“你不是我喜欢的类型。”


“你喜欢的类型是...?”


“黑魔王。”


Regulus愣了一下。


“…抱歉,你刚才说什么?”


“你问我喜欢的类型。我告诉你了。”


灰眼睛里的疑惑逐渐消失,取而代之的是一种闪烁的兴奋。这似乎变成了一场竞赛?Black少爷勾起嘴角,“你还在想他?一个为了政治利益牺牲爱人的混蛋。你不觉得他对你很残忍?”


“那只是你的猜测。”Harry淡漠地说,“也许不是你说的那样…”


“你很不安吧?”


绿眼睛微微一颤。


“我猜对了?”Regulus扬了扬眉,“我知道他很爱你,或许这世上再没有什么人能取代你在他心目中的地位——除了他自己。”Harry看上去就像被他拿针扎了一下。Regulus得意地笑起来,“是他要求你保持这个容貌的,不是么?就因为他喜欢。”他向前走了一步,“他也不在乎在外人面前对你发号施令,就因为他喜欢。”他又走了一步,“他不想和你去荷兰结婚,为了保持他这个凤凰社的精神领袖和德国巫师界的楷模在梵蒂冈面前伟光正的形象,还把你推出来和那个老头子谈判——就因为他喜欢。”


他已经完全走到对方面前了。


“反正只要他喜欢的,你都得服从。他把你当成什么了,他养的猫么?”


绿眼睛的青年垂着头。Black少爷不怀好意地伸出手,挑起对方的下巴。他本来就比Harry高,单从外表上看也比对方年长得多,所以做起这个动作毫不违和。青年没有反抗或者拒绝他,只是微微仰着下巴,镇定地看着他。


“今天是你的生日,对么?”Regulus柔声说,“生日快乐,Harry。”


对面的绿眼睛不可思议地睁圆了,“…你怎么知道?”Black少爷依旧笑眯眯的,银灰色的眼睛,满溢着蜜意与柔情,“…记住自己喜欢的人降临这个世界的日子,不是最基本的么?”


他手一划,魔法幻化成一捧娇艳的红玫瑰。Harry没有接,只是呆呆地望着他。


罗马的街道上不时有行人驻足停留,看着这位英俊的中年男子在距离梵蒂冈一条街巷的地方,向自己爱慕的同性告白。这可能是一个人一辈子能做出的最挑战罗马教廷的事之一了。


整个圣彼得广场,就在他们身后展开。


天使与魔鬼,见证着这一切。


四周的游人拿出了相机和手机拍照。


“我要感谢Voldemort,让我有一个陪你过生日的机会。”Regulus垂下头,温柔而强势地靠近Harry的脸,“那么…请问我可以和你接吻吗?”
 
7.


男人从抽屉里取出文件,拿起放在旁边的浅蓝色盒子。Riddle嘴角一勾,步履轻快地离开办公室,手一挥,锁上了门。
 
8.


古龙水的气息覆盖了Harry,忘我而热烈得令人窒息——青年温柔地伸出手,停住了对方的动作。


“你很迷人,小十四。但我不会和你接吻。”


Black少爷不解地皱起眉。


“你说得对。他让我保持他喜欢的样貌,不在乎在外人面前对我发号施令,甚至可能为了政治利益牺牲了我们结合的机会。”Harry轻轻一笑,“但那又怎么样呢?”


“那又怎么样?”Regulus不可置信地反问。


“对呀,那又怎么样。这又不是比赛。如果这真是比赛,我的得分可比他低多了。你并不知道他为我经历了什么,忍耐了什么,也不知道他为我牺牲了什么,改变了什么。你并不知道他曾愿意为了我去死。”


“什么...时候的事?”


“你瞧,你都不知道我在说什么,不是么?因为他从不把这些事情讲给别人听。”碧绿色的眼睛平静地望着银灰色的,“如果Voldemort不想结婚的话,我们就不结婚。”


“那怎么可以…”


“没什么不可以的。在其位,谋其政。他是凤凰社的精神领袖,是德国巫师界的第一把交椅,在这么重大的决策面前权衡利弊不是很正常的么?他有太多需要考虑的东西,不能永远把我排在第一位。这我早就知道了。”


“Harry,”Regulus心疼地扶住了他的肩膀,“别再这样勉强自己了。离开他不好吗?也许他曾为你做了很多,但这不代表你就要一辈子报答他的恩情啊。你已经做得够多了。”


被他揽住的人无奈得直笑。


“我的梅林啊,小十四,你对我…还真是有很大误会。既然你这么想‘死心得更彻底’,”他借用了对方的话,“我就满足你的心愿好了。”


Harry倾身向前,温柔地伏到对方耳边。


“…报答他的恩情?你怎么会有这么可爱的想法?我又不是被他捡到的小猫小狗,哪有什么恩情好报。他为我做的一切,那都是他心甘情愿的呀。即使我不回应他,他也会那么做的。因为他爱我。我为他所做的一切,也都是心甘情愿的。这些都是不计代价,不求回报的。我说过了——你不是我喜欢的类型。如果我喜欢一个人,就会主动吻他,我会主动接近他,主动诱惑他。我这个人对自己想要的东西,一向很主动。所以当我向一个人臣服,就代表我愿意那么做。我自愿把一切献给他,既没有受委屈,也没有受胁迫。你用这种像是对待一个落难公主的态度对待我,让我很不舒服。”他的声音沉得更低,如同一声绵长的叹息,语气温柔而细腻,仿佛倾诉一个深藏心底的秘密,“...Voldemort是我珍贵的宝物,可爱到我恨不得和他寸步不离。如果有可能的话,我简直不想让除我以外的任何人接近他,触碰他。为了让这个可爱的孩子永远属于我,我用我的灵魂标记了他。你以为...我会轻易放他走吗?”
 
9.
午夜已过。


Harry移形到了庄园山脚下。


他们的家受法阵保护,这是幻影移形能达到的最近距离。Riddle平时都会开车出门,而Harry偏爱移形到这里,然后徒步走完最后一程路。他喜欢看着家里的灯火一点点地接近自己。


青年手里还捧着那束红玫瑰。如果就此丢掉,花儿们太可怜了,所以他把它们一起带回了家。一进门就看到玄关摆了一双皮鞋。Harry微微一愣——这可是三个月来对方第一次比自己回家早。他放下手中的花,寻着细微的响动来到餐厅,然后再次愣住了。


餐厅被魔法装点成了浪漫的烛光晚宴。


桌上没有菜肴,只有两个红酒杯和一份文件。


正巧这时,Riddle从厨房里走了出来。


“晚上好,亲爱的。” 男人放下手中的红酒和开瓶器,勾起Harry的下巴轻轻一吻,“给我带好消息来了么?”


“梵蒂冈妥协了。”


“真乖。”Riddle嘴角上扬,满意地笑了,“很有意思不是么?在我们两个之中,他们总会选择更难对付的那一个。”


“也许他们觉得我是你的弱点。”


Riddle细长的手指刮过Harry的侧脸,指腹带着长年握笔留下的薄薄的茧,“难道你不是么,宝贝?”


绿眼睛的青年偏过头,柔软的嘴唇摩挲着男人的指尖,忽然双齿一阖,咬破了对方的手。Harry唆去了Riddle指尖渗出的细小血珠。它们像罂粟的花蕊,致命的香甜。


“…你说呢?”


“要我说,小狼狗把你拐跑的计划失败了。”


“既然知道我不会和他走,为什么还要派他去呢?”


“就算我不想承认,我的权力也没大到能决定布莱克基金会董事的去向。况且你们分头行动的话,我怕他对付不了那个老头。你不是让我多照顾一下年轻人么。”


“连情敌都一起照顾了。你还真自信啊。”


“我不应该吗?”


黑眼睛在烛光里燃烧着,透出一种奇异的红色——男人脸上扬起自命不凡的笑,那神情Harry再熟悉不过了——无论先前困扰着对方的是什么,现在肯定已经解决了。


就像之前的无数次一样。


没有什么能阻挡这个男人前进。


就像没有什么能阻挡白昼和黑夜交替。


“不过,”Riddle话锋一转,“我的确是故意在今天,”他瞥了一眼手表,“现在应该说是昨天了,派你出去的。” 


他轻叹了一声,“对不起,小猫。本想给你一个惊喜,可惜没赶上。”Riddle回过身,拾起桌上的文件递给了对方,“如果能再提前一天就好了。生日快乐,Harry。”


青年疑惑地接了过来,扫了一眼封面上工整的印刷体,“…这是议院的批复?”


“读读看。”


Harry翻开文件,“…德国联邦议院通过生活伴侣关系法,本法赋予登记的同性生活伴侣基于异性婚姻关系享有的同等权利,自2001年8月1日起生效…”


碧绿的眼睛停了几秒,接着不可置信地抬了起来,“…这是你促成的?”


“嗯。”


“你之前…是在忙这个?”


“嗯。”


“你说不想去荷兰是因为…”


“因为我在等它正式生效。”Riddle温柔地笑了,“这样我们就能在德国结婚了。我要你在这里就能享有你的权利,Harry。我不会带你去什么荷兰。我不要你去适应这个体系。我要让它来适应你。”


绿眼睛怔怔地望着他。


Riddle从口袋里掏出一个浅蓝色的小盒子,打开了,里面躺着两枚白金戒指。


“我们明早就去教堂。”


Harry看上去像是说不出话,长长的睫毛微微下垂,遮住了水晶般的泪。


他的爱人深情地把他搂进怀里,“你答应了。”


“…谁说我答应了。”


“宝贝,我们1940年就订婚了。”


“而你居然花了61年才通过这个法案,还错过了我的生日。”


“你说得对。我该怎么向你赔罪呢?”


“让我想想…”青年伸手圈住爱人的脖子,“…不如抱我去床上慢慢想?”


被搂住的男人笑了,“我们明早还去教堂么?”


“那要看你‪今晚的表现了。”


Riddle依旧笑着,垂下头,宠溺地吻上了怀中人柔软的嘴唇。


“遵命,美人。”
 
10.


2001年8月1日,德国通过生活伴侣关系法,藉此在同性婚姻的支持者与基督教团体之间取得妥協,通过本法赋予已登记的生活伴侣许多基于异性婚姻关系享有的权利。


2004年10月12日,德国联邦议院通过了生活伴侣关系法修正法案,赋予生活伴侣关系更多权利,其中增加了包含收养继子女以及赡养费和分离关系的规定。


2009年10月25日,由基督教民主联盟和自由民主党所组成的联合政府规定将移除所有基于同性生活伴侣关系以及异性婚姻关系之间的不平等。


2017年6月30日,德国联邦议院以393票同意,226票反对,4票弃权正式通过同性婚姻法案。自此,德国正式走入婚姻平权时代。
 
0.


“小猫,门口怎么有束花呀?”
 
 
E.N.D

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【TRHP, GGAD】THE LAST GOODBYE 时空门
(这篇有点长,20W字,二战背景,完结,HE)


各种梗和冷知识:


1. 在构思小魔王送给哈利的生日礼物时,我忽然想到当初哈利送小魔王的第一份生日礼物是一份法律文件,所以这回也让小魔王送了哈利一份法律文件(这么一说感觉好不浪漫)。本篇的亮点是哈利的狐狸尾巴,笑。其实像哈利这么一个从十一岁开始就和伏地魔刚正面的阿尔法,我不觉得他的领导力和控制欲会比里德尔弱——然而可怜的莱古勒斯被哈利柔韧的个性和带着一点脆弱美的外表给忽悠了。其实里德尔只是喜欢叫哈利小猫,他和哈利之间的关系是很平等的。这个系列里在气场上能压住哈利的只有阿不思和盖勒特(而盖勒特还一度被反杀,所以哈利真不是一般的强劲),其他人在他这个大写的阿尔法面前都是可爱的小贝塔(挑眉)。不过单以送礼来说,我觉得很难有人苏得过两位黑魔王了。毕竟人家动辄就送政权,送法案,送复活石,送老魔杖。光这个气魄就旷古绝今,笑。所以布莱克家的二少爷和布思巴顿的女校长还是勇气可嘉的,毕竟敢勾引王的男人,这个勇气值一朵小红花不是么?




2. 哈利叫莱古勒斯小十四,因为莱古勒斯的名字源于星官轩辕的第十四颗星,也是狮子座最明亮的恒星,学名是轩辕十四。在这部作品里小天狼星作为长子继承了布莱克家族的基金,不过因为这个风一样的男子每天都和‘掠夺者’混在一起,又跑到荷兰度蜜月去了,所以莱古勒斯这个倒霉弟弟被留下来打理基金会的日常事务。




3. 教皇内侍姓麦克格雷格,是为了致敬伊万·麦克格雷格,也就是丹·布朗的名作《天使与魔鬼》里饰演教皇内侍的演员。有没有人觉得伊万饰演的教皇内侍和裘德洛饰演的教皇也是配一脸。这俩人如果在同一个剧里,我又要多一个能玩十年的CP。




4. 伏爾克·贝克确有其人。他在1994年到2002年间任职德国绿党党务发言人,同时也是联邦议院绿党党鞭。他是一位公开的同性恋者,也是德国男女同性恋协会的发言人,一生致力于推动同性婚姻,被称为‘德国同性伴侣法案之父’。自2001年8月1日起生效的同性伴侣民事登记法就是由他起草的。他在2016年被发现携带违禁品(Crystal Meth,规避关键词)后主动辞职了。有没有发现现实生活中的阿尔法个个都是大尾巴狼(所以我不会让哈利和阿不思显得太白莲花)。




5. 杰克·德斯雅确有其人。他是一位同志权利运动家,也是伏爾克·贝克的爱人。他和贝克于2008年在德国注册正式成为合法伴侣,结束了长达十六年的爱情长跑。他在2009年因癌症去世。




6.红绿联盟指德国总理施罗德在1998到2005年之间领导的由绿党与社会民主党(即红党)组成的联盟。施罗德执政时期采取了很多积极政策,如促进可再生能源,支持同性恋权利并通过民事结合法等,但他任职期间德国经济不断陷入低谷,社会保障体系难以为继,失业率屡屡上升,最终施罗德由于一系列国内经济问题而面临反对,这也是他下台的重要原因之一。他的继任就是我们熟悉的默克尔总理,笑。




7. 人类基因组计划指一项巨型跨国科学探索工程,旨在测定组成人类染色体中所包含的六十亿对组成的核苷酸序列,从而绘制人类基因组图谱,达到破译人类遗传信息的最终目的。梵蒂冈反对这项计划,因为破解生命的秘密是科学和宗教的巨大冲突之一。凤凰社和布莱克基金会参与了这项工程,所以教皇不待见他们是有各种现实原因的。




8. 涉及德国同性婚姻法的所有日期和发展历程都是真实的历史事件,所以德国同性伴侣民事法的正式生效日期真的是在哈利生日的后一天,也是本篇的灵感来源之一。




9. 蒂芙尼的戒指并不是软广,而是他们在企业社会责任方面做得不错,推出了一系列知名的同性婚姻广告(且不是模特摆拍而是真实的同性情侣)。我很欣赏,所以让笔下的人物去买了他们家的戒指。




10. 全球同性婚姻合法化的顺序是:荷兰 2001,比利时 2003,西班牙 2005,加拿大 2005,南非 2006,挪威 2009,瑞典 2009,葡萄牙 2010,冰岛 2010,阿根廷 2010,丹麦 2012,新西兰 2013,乌拉圭 2013,巴西 2013,法国 2013,英格兰和威尔士 2013,苏格兰 2014,卢森堡 2014,爱尔兰 2015,格陵兰 2015,美国 2015,哥伦比亚 2016,斯洛文尼亚 2017,芬兰 2017,马耳他 2017,德国 2017。



天啊这简直不能再棒了(⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

doraemi13:

(十分偷懶的我決定複製貼上來樂乎😂 羅馬尼亞大甜心生快🎂🙆🏻❤️🎊🎉)

又一年了,我們的童顏小獅子 384先森 又要吹蠟燭過生日了~🎊
去年一年,相信大家也是從包子身上獲得了滿滿的正能量,
每天都在向他學習如何成為更加熱愛生活、熱愛周遭人事物、待人謙遜溫和有禮,以及成為一個更好的人😘

去年的生日恰巧有機會給384先森做個小本本,
還能在漫展上親手拿給他,
今年覺得沒梗了(誤),
只好來為他的35歲生日搞個大事~!
也就是讓包子的帥臉成功登上台北的公車滿街跑啦! 😜😜😜

在台灣的朋友們可以去找找【台北客運651路線】的【車號827-FR】這台車,
就有機會能在街頭跟384先森說聲Hi喔~!
651路線將會經過板橋、西門町、台大醫院、國父紀念館、信義區101附近的市政府等知名景點,
算是還挺熱鬧的路線,
也可以透過【台北等公車APP】來查詢公車到每站的時間以便捕捉~

公車應援活動目前已經在11日正式開跑了,
而整個車體廣告也會整整掛滿一個月,
到9月10日才會結束~
所以在台北或者即將造訪台北的朋友們,
不要忘了留意街上的651公車,
快來一起玩Sebastian Go吧!XD(大誤)😇

這次應援其實只算是一個自發性的小活動啦~
但是真的非常感謝每次都要被我逼死的我的御用正妹設計師 @Sylvene_葉子 的幫忙,
不僅要被一下班就往她那邊跑的我煩,
就連半夜還要被我抓來做圖QQ
幸運的是,我們很猛地花了3天就一切搞定,
一周內就成功讓384的帥臉在路上跑了🤣🤣🤣
也謝謝 @狂熱男神的腳架 給予十分中肯的意見與鼓勵~😍
因為包子認識了很多很棒的好朋友、去了很多地方、做了很多從前意想不到的事,
真的真的很幸福呢❤️❤️❤️☺️☺️☺️

POI部分台词记录

为太太打call(⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

Vin.:

Um...就是一些个人喜欢的POI台词的记录而已...没什么特别的感情线偏向 也没有标注是谁说的 只是自己喜欢 为自己存个档而已【。


均标注了是哪集的台词...纯手打可能会有出错的地方...也没有每集都记录


总之就是个很私心满满的记录而已【真的很私心】


 



"I offered you a job, Mr. Reese. Never said it would be easy."


——S01E01




"You have a decision to make."


"The machine gave you another number."


"The numbers never stop coming. You should know that up front."


"Why me?"


"I've been watching you for a long time, John. We have more in common than you might think. The world thinks we're both dead, for starters."


"You programmed the machine to delete those irrelevant numbers. Now you're trying to save them. What changed your mind?"


"Let's just say you're not the only one that's lost someone. If you wanna leave, I'll give you enough money to get as far as you need. Disappear."


"And if I stay?"


"Sooner or later both of us'll probably wind up dead. Actually dead this time. I said I'd tell you the truth. Didn't say you'd like it."


——S01E01




"The truth is that, it was easier for you to be alone."


"That's one of the things you learn over there. In the end, we're all alone. And no one's coming to save you. Be happy with Peter."


"You don't believe that. Not really. You wanna be brave? Take a risk. Tell me to wait for you and...Say those words and I will. It would take real courage, wouldn't it?"




"Wait for me. Please."


——S01E03




"What's good here?"


"That won't work, Mr. Reese."


"What won't?"


"Your interrogation technique."


"What's good here? It's an innocent question."


"No question is ever innocent from you. You're trying to determine whether I come here often. Armed with that knowledge, you'll try to figure out where I live."


"You're paranoid, Finch."


"With good reason."


"Maybe I just don't know what's good here. So I'm asking the regular."


"Enjoy your meal, Mr. Reese."




"Thank you."


"I beg your pardon?"


"For giving me a job."


"Try the eggs Benedict, Mr. Reese. I've had them many times."


——S01E05




"Mr.Reese, I'm highly uncomfortable being here."


"I'm highly uncomfortable having you here. But I need a spotter."


——S01E08




"What if you miss?"


"I wouldn't know. Never have."


——S01E08




"Where did you come from?"


"I breached the space-time continuum."


"???"


"Not really. I did sense my privacy being invaded."


——S01E10




"Wanted to say thank you, Harold. For giving me a second chance."


"It's not over, John. I'm close. Just get to the ground floor."


"No. You stay away. Don't even risk it."


——S01E10




(On the phone in front of Carter)


"Where's Cahill?"


"I'm...fine, Finch. Thanks for asking."


——S01E15




"I don't know anything about Wall Street."


(Handing a book about Wall Street to Reese)"Well, here's a start, although it doesn't really matter. Banking is mostly looking clever and wearing the right clothes, and we've managed the second part."


——S01E16




"It's not very flattering, Finch, but better than the picture."


——S01E17




"Did you bring a weapon?"


"I told you, Mr. Reese. I don't like weapons."


"Well, you'd better be prepared to talk them to death, and you'd better do it fast."


——S01E18




"You're leaving?"


"No, I'll stick around, keep an eye on you. You should really get some sleep."


"You don't want to talk?"


"You might regret it in the morning. You're a very private person, remember?"


"Come on. Ask me anything."


"Good night, Harold."




"Good night, Nathan."


——S01E18




"I'm sorry I'm not much use on this end of things. Look...Show me how to fire one of these and I can help. I'll...create a distraction, I suppose, or..."


"That's okay, Harold. You can be the getaway driver. I'll be fine."


——S01E19




"I have to say, Harold, we've been working together for some time now, but you continue to surprise me."


"Likewise, Mr. Reese."


——S01E23




"I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not going anywhere until you give me a way to find him. If I'm supposed to keep saving people like this idiot, I want something in return. Otherwise, I'm done."




"A negotiation."




"I know you've got your rules. But I'm guessing they don't account for everybody being dead. No one answering your phone calls. No one saving anyone. No contingency."


"Do the math, and figure out a way to bend your rules, 'cause he's my friend. He saved my life. Understand? And I won't do this without him."


——S02E01




"I've already eaten, Mr. Reese. Thank you."


"Who said it was for you? Doggie Danish."


——S02E08




"What is any of this good for, and when would we ever use it?"


"Let me show you. π. The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. And this is just the beginning. It keeps on going. Forever. Without ever repeating. Which means that contained within this string of decimals, is every single other number. Your birth date. Combination to your locker, your social security number. It's all in there somewhere. And if you convert these decimals into letters, you would have every word that ever existed in every possible combination. The first syllable you spoke as a baby, the name of your latest crush, your entire life story from beginning to end. Everything we ever say or do... all of the world's infinite possibilities rest within this one simple circle. Now what you do with that information... what it's good for... well, that would be up to you."


——S02E11




"I know all about his hunt for the "Man in a suit". Personally, I think they could've come up with a better name."


——S02E11




(Bear grunts)


"It's just me, Bear."


——S02E12




(Bear grunts)


"We'll get him back, Bear. I promise."


——S02E13




"Harold, I need you to stay clear of the building."


"What are you going to do? Mr. Reese?"




"So I see I'm not too late."


"I should have known you'd turn up here. I told you to stay clear."


"Which is how I knew you'd put yourself in a situation like this, Mr. Reese."


"Stay where you are."




"Will you just let me--What are you gonna do? Shoot me?"


"This is my past catching up with me. It doesn't concern you."


"But this moment does. I'm not leaving you here, John. So can we please stop wasting time?"




"What?"


"Something you said once. About how sooner or later we'd both probably end up dead."


"I'd prefer later. After all, I'm the one that got you into this in the first place."


"I'm pretty sure I'd be dead already if you hadn't found me."


"It's hard to say."


"Not really. "




"Pick a winner, Harold."


——S02E13




"Finch. Thank you."


"Please, don't mention it."


——S02E13




"Our billionaire gave me a little something."


"Well..."


"Tells time to the nanosecond."


(Finch broke the watch)


"That was a very expensive watch. Not to mention, a gift."


"A gift equipped with GPS."


——S02E14




"I've been meaning to have someone look at this."


"That's a 2-million-dollar watch."


"It was. Unfortunately, I stepped on it. But if someone was interested in repairing it..."


——S02E18




"I'll grow old with her, Mr. Reese, just from afar. And beyond that, it's best not to think about it."


——S02E18




"Miss me already, Finch?"


"It's not a social call, Mr. Reese."


——S02E19




"Don't answer the phone again unless it's me. I won't let Root get to you, not again."


——S02E21




"Give me a location on Finch."




"You know almost everything that's happening, and you won't tell me the one thing I need?"


——S02E22




"Where's Bear?"


"Staying with a guy named Leon. Didn't think you even liked the dog."


"Like him? He's the only reason I'm sticking around."


——S02E22




"You knew her."


"..."


"Cared about her."


"..."


"Is she alive?"


"No."


——S02E22




"Imminent threat."


"Don't you touch him."


——S02E22




"Harold!"




"I knew you would come, my friend."




"Time for us to face the music."


——S02E22




"Mr. Reese, I owe you an explanation, and a apology. Three years ago, when I put the code out there to free the machine, I had no idea what path it would take or what unintended consequences it might have. I never intended to hurt anyone, but I accepted that someone might get hurt. I always worried that events that I had set in motion may have changed things for you."


"My life changed when I kept my mouth shut at an airport terminal seven years ago. You didn't have anything to do with that. You lost a friend. You did what you had to do."


——S02E22




"Nicely done, Mr. Reese. I realize now I never did hear how you came to enlist in the army."


"'Cause I never told you, Finch. I'm a very private person."


——S03E01




"Just sencha green tea and a box of doggie treats."


——S03E02




"We're merely a couple of concerned dog owners."


——S03E04




"I'm just not wired for this kind of stuff, kid."


"I know. I figured you out. It's not that you don't have feelings. It's just like...the volume is turned way down. Like the sound on an old tape. The voices are there. You just have to listen. Bye, Shaw."


(Shaw grabbed Gen's arm and hugged her.)


"You're hurting me."


——S03E05




"Finch, you know I don't like you heading into danger without me."


"I'm not so thrilled about my current circumstances either, but I need you where you are."


——S03E06




"But, Finch, I'm here if you need me."


——S03E06




"But if anything happens...I need you to hold on to that."


"No."


"'No' what?"


"No way you're gonna come here with this 'if anything happens to me' crap."


"Lionel, you're the only person in the world I trust with this. Plus, you're the best partner I ever had."


——S03E08




"Just when I think life with you people couldn't get any weirder, one of you takes it to the next level."


——S03E10




"Mr. Reese. You know what Joss sacrificed to bring this man down on her terms. Legal terms."


"Everything."


"Yes. So if you're going to kill Mr. Quinn, don't imagine that you're doing it in her name. That's not what she would have wanted. "


"We should have killed him in the first place. Why didn't we, Finch?"


"That's not our purpose. We save lives. You save lives."


"Not all of them."


"You're dying, John. Let us help you."


"No."


——S03E10




"I got lucky. I had a partner. She was good for me. For a lot of reasons. She reminded me that I could be good again too. I could be a good father, a good friend. A good cop. I'm not gonna let you undo all the good she did. Carter saved my life. She--she saved me from myself. Because she believed in me. And I'm not gonna throw all that away on a piece of crap like you. Patrick Simmons, you're under arrest."


——S03E10




(After Finch sang)


"John's gonna be sorry he missed that."


——S03E12




"How about we just figure a way to get out of here and go home?"


"Home? What home, Lionel?"


"You know, I mean, you've never actually invited me over, but home--meaning our friends and that thing we are doing."


"What is it we were doing again?"


"Helping people, Keeping 'em safe so they can get home to their loved ones."


"No offense, Lionel. I know the whole 'being a good guy' thing is new to you, but you're not fooling anyone, and neither will we. We weren't helping people. We were delaying the inevitable."


"No one ever said we were gonna win, but it doesn't mean you stop fighting."


"No. I've learned my lesson. It's entropy, Lionel, decay. We save someone, they'll still lose, just tomorrow, not today. And I know that now, same as I know you'll probably go back to be a corrupt piece of garbage. Water finds its level."


"You know what? She was the best of us--Better than me and a damn sight better than you. And she got killed. Where I come from, that doesn't mean you just give up."




"You're free to go. Do whatever you want. I'll tell Finch I tried."


"Tell Finch...Thanks for the job."


"I haven't heard from Glasses since last night. That's not like him. He probably needs our help, but there's no point, right? We'd just be delaying the inevitable."


——S03E12




"I heard you might need a hand."


"Mr. Reese, I am inordinately happy to see you."


"Forget the shmoopy time. We got to move."


"Lionel, your face looks good all covered up like that."


——S03E12




"You computer guys, you build something you can't control. And when it backfires, you won't accept responsibility."


"What are we talking about here?"


"Have you really made anything better? Does it look like you've stopped the violence?"


"Okay, are we still talking about me? 'Cause it seems like you're mad at somebody else."


——S03E13




"She seems nice."


"You track me down, Harold?"


"Just flew in to get Owen situated with a new identity and destination."


"Is that it?"




"Mr. Reese, I understand your frustration with the opacity of the machine. But there's a reason I chose to make it that way. The machine only gives us numbers, because I would always rather that a human element remain in determining something so critical as someone's fate. We have free will. And with that comes great responsibility and sometimes great loss. I miss her dearly too."


"When are you leaving?"


"Soon. I thought I would go see this exhibit at the Giorgio De Chirico House-Museum...an artist that Grace was very fond of. You're welcome to join me."


"I'm not sure I can, Finch. While I'm in Italy, I thought I'd get fitted for a new suit."


"...Of course. We should call my atelier in the Via Palestro. See if Gianni could fit you in after lunch. He's the best."


"I thought maybe I could hitch a ride back with you. I'm not quite ready to fly commercial yet, so--But I need to get back to work."


"Certainly, Mr. Reese. I know the pilot. I think we could delay that flight."


——S03E13




"I gotta raise my game up if I gotta be seen with you, Finch."




"It's just like a shoelace, Mr. Reese. I find that it helps if you practice on a leg or a collarless neck if you're out of practice."


"I can field strip a .45 upside down in the dark, Finch. I think I can handle a bow tie."


"Of course... Is it a butterfly or batwing?"


"..."


"Never mind, take your time."


"Hate to interrupt this mildly erotic moment, gents, but the invitation advises us not to be late."


——S03E14




"Sounds like you thought of everything. So how long have you been running? I mean, look, it's obvious. This place, your setup. And I think you know more about that code than you're willing to admit."


"I know that anyone that has contact with this system that you worked on...either ends up dead... or they lose so much, they wish they were. The truth is, besides Mr. Dillinger, you're the only person that's ever been here. I have to ask you--"


"No, you don't. Harold, I owe you my life. However this shakes out, they catch me...I won't tell them anything about you or this place."


——S03E16




"How badly did you have to break it to make it care about people so much?"


"That didn't break it. It's what made it work. It was only after I taught the machine that people mattered, that it could begin to be able to help them. I'd like to do the same thing for you, if you'd let me."


"In the first 30 minutes after Samaritan comes online, a lot of people are gonna be killed. But they're gonna start with four: you, me, your helper monkey, and Shaw. And there won't be a damn thing anyone, including your machine, can do to stop it. You think I don't care about people, Harold? I'm doing all of this to save you."


——S03E17




"Was it just a coincidence--Cyrus and me? Or was the machine trying to make some sort of point?"


"You'd have to ask the machine."


"I did. She's not telling."


"Did you inform Mr. Wells about your role in his past?"


"I wanted to. But that would've been for me. What Cyrus believes, it--it helps him. And who am I to say he's wrong?"


——S03E17




"You call this music? Finch? Are you okay?"


"I'm fine."


"Can we put the screeching cat out of its misery?"


"It's not Feline. It's Verdi. There's a performance of Il Trovatore at the Kennedy Center that I'd like to catch. Next time you can be the disc jockey. We'll listen to whatever you like."


"Maybe next time I'll just sing for you. I do a great Ring Cycle, you know." 


"I think I'll skip your Brunnhilde."


"Suit yourself."


——S03E20




"John, think about what you're saying."


"I have."


"Just because Decima is not the threat to McCourt doesn't mean that we must be. The machine is designed to save lives, not take them."


"But could it? Could the machine ever tell us to kill someone? Is it possible?"


"It's conceivable."


"How bad would the situation have to be?"


"Bad. It would have to see that an individual's actions could directly result in the loss of others' lives."


"How many lives? A dozen, a hundred? How many?"


"A lot. I'm not sure. I never dreamt it would come to this."


"It has. Your machine--it sees something coming--Something bad--and it wants us to stop it."


"I don't know. You don't know that."


"Look, I've never entirely trusted your machine, but you built it, and I trust you. You're the one who said we can't underestimate the threat of Samaritan."


——S03E20




"We're not assassins. We protect people."


"Isn't that what we're doing, sacrificing the life of one to save the lives of many? Shaw, help me out here."


"Six months ago, I would've already put a bullet in that guy's head. But ever since hanging around you guys, I've kind of gotten used to saving people. But we've only been able to do that by trusting the machine. And if it's saying that this guy's gotta go, I think we should still trust it."


"John, I urge you to consider the consequences of this action."


"There are consequences to not acting. Like with Simmons and Joss."


"Don't do this."


"If we let him walk out that door, Decima wins. Samaritan will go live."


"It's a possibility but not a certainty. There may be another way. We've never been here."


"But are you really willing to take that risk? Harold?"


"Since we started this, things have changed. We've changed. But the mission, our purpose, has always been constant--to save lives. If that's changed somehow, if we're in a place now where the machine is asking us to commit murder...That's a place I can't go. I'm afraid this is where I get off. John."


——S03E20




"Here's all you need to know about me, old man. My dad was an alcoholic. Nearly tore the family to pieces. The thing about growing up that way--you get good at spotting lies. So good that you start expecting them from everyone. So how do I know what Harold told me was true? Because when he came along, against every instinct, I gave him my trust. Somehow I knew...he would never break it. And if you doubt that even for a second, you're the one who's lying to himself."


"You truly loved him, didn't you?"


"I would have done anything to save him. And Harold would have done anything for me."


——S03E21




"They want me, don't they?"


"We're not giving you to Decima, Harold. We just got you back. The three of us will come up with some kind of way..."


"No, any change of plans would put Grace at risk, and I can't allow that. I'll trade myself for her. The two of you will stay with me and make sure that Decima holds up their end of the deal. Understood?"


"Whatever you want, Finch. We'll be there."


"Thank you. There's one more thing. I'd like you to avoid violence if at all possible. But...if they harm Grace in any way...kill them all."


——S03E21




"Don't do this, Harold. We'll think of something. We've faced worse."


"Worse? Have we? I don't think so. From the day the machine went online, part of me knew that I would never be able to sever myself from it...And that anyone I ever cared about was in danger. It was foolish to imagine otherwise. I tried to guard myself, stay hidden, from the government, the authorities, people looking. Here we still are. The moment was inevitable. This moment was always looking for me. I have to accept it."




"There was no other way."


"Keep yourself alive, Harold. I'll be coming for you."


"Remember what I said. She's all that matters."


——S03E21




"Did you know him? Harold? Is he what this was all about?"


"All I know for sure is...you loved him. And he loved you back."


——S03E21




"We lost Finch, which means we lost everything."


——S03E21




"John, remember to be careful."


"Just like old times, huh, Finch?"


"Hardly, Detective."


——S04E01




"Be safe, John."


——S04E01




"I hope you like your eggs room temperature, and mildly congealed."


"Sorry, Harold. Got to cancel. The job may be a cover, but the last-minute paperwork's real."


"Understood, though it seems a shame to waste decent food."


"Why don't you ask your new number to keep you company?"


"New what?"




"You lured me here to assign me your latest number?"


——S04E02




"Need I remind you that under our newfound oversight, my income is no longer unlimited."


——S04E02




"I won't have you risking your life and Sameen's."


"Damn it, Harold, it is still my job to save people."


"Don't let your frustration with me affect your judgement."


"He's gonna let his frustration with you affect his judgement."


——S04E02




"Whatever fate was waiting for her at the end of the game, it must have found her."


"I'm sorry, Harold. I never should have dragged you back into this."


"I appreciate your concern, John, but just as Claire has made her choice, I've made mine. Follow me."




"Antiques."


"Like us, Harold?"


"I suppose they are a bit like us--Living underground, resisting the new age that's trying to make us irrelevant. And like us, they still work."




"You are back, aren't you, Harold? Or did you invite us down here for decorating tips?"


"The truth is, I couldn't stand by and watch my friends risking everything doing work that I myself began. We're not just fighting for people's lives anymore. If we lose and Samaritan wins, the world as we know it will vanish, and no one will even notice it until it's far too late."


"So we push back."


"Indeed, and we do it together."


"Glad to know that you have our backs, Harold."


"Many thanks, John."


——S04E02




"It operates based on rules."


"Rules that we can't even grasp."


"We understand the machine. We can understand Samaritan."


"We don't understand the machine at all. Out of 43 versions, how many do you think there were that didn't try to either trick or kill me? One, and I could only bring it to heel by crippling it. I put the machine in chains, bereft of voice or memory. Now it has both, and it terrifies me."


"You don't trust the god you made?"


"It's not a divinity. I programmed it to pursue objectives within a certain parameter, but it's grown out of my control. One day, to suit its own goals, it's possible that the machine will try to kill us. We are only numbers to it, code."


"No, the machine cares about us."


"If it fools you into think that you're special, that assumption may doom you."


"You're wrong. She chose me. I'll protect her, and you."


"The second that a bullet enters your brain, the machine will cast you off and replace you. Don't tie your life to its whims. We cannot understand these intelligences. The best we can hope for is to survive them."


"She loves us, Harold. She taught me to value life, but war requires sacrifice. I'm not lost. I'm scared. We're losing. But I know where I am and where I'm headed."


"We have more to look forward to than death."


"I hope so. But the life I've led, a good end would be a privilege."


"It's not where you begin, it's where you end up. You're a brilliant woman, comrade...and a friend."




"If the worst comes to pass, if you could give Shaw a message?"


"I think she already knows. We will win this war."


"If we do, there's no chance in hell all of us make it out alive. You have to be prepared for that."


——S04E05




"Any word from Root?"


"It's going to be a long fight, but it must be won, at any cost."


——S04E05




"I guess there are things I care about here."


"And is that why you came to see me?"


"No. I need you to translate Finch's instructions on how to destroy the virus. Dude never met a five-syllable word he didn't like."


"Full decontamination. This could take all night."


——S04E07




"Look, I get that you're frustrated, angry, and probably a little bit scared--"


"Oh, please. I'm not scared."


"May be you should be. Because you almost died back there. And Samaritan's operatives are just getting smarter and faster. So while you may not be scared about what could happen to you the next time, other people are. people who care for you. Try to remember that."


——S04E09




"I understand your wanting to save your friend. But you must know that there's more hanging in the balance here than just his life."


"Perhaps, but his is the one that I care about."


"There's no denying that your presence in this city has brought order to the chaos. Without you, men like Dominic will thrive, and violence can claim many more lives."


"The world is a violent place, Harold. It always will be. Best we can hope to do while we're here is to protect those closest to us."


——S04E09




"What's the point of saving the world if you can't enjoy it?"


——S04E11




"Hey, sweetie, you busy?"


"A little. Skip the verbal foreplay, Root. Why you calling?"


"Can't a couple of gals take a little break from work to catch up?"


"I've been arrested and you're fighting an A.I. apocalypse. So, no, we don't have time to catch up."


"There's no need to be rude."


"I'm not having this conversation right now."


"There's no time like the present, Sameen. Why are you so afraid to talk about your feelings?"


"Feelings? I'm a sociopath. I don't have feelings."


"And I'm a reformed killer for hire. We're perfect for each other. You're gonna figure that out someday."


"Root, if you and I were the last two people on the face of this planet--"


"An increasingly plausible scenario given Samaritan's plans."


"Fine. Maybe someday, when Samaritan wipes everyone out...We can talk about it."


"You're saying maybe someday?"


"Yeah, sure, Root. Maybe someday. Is that good enough for you?"


"Yes, Sameen. That's good enough for me."




"Root?"


——S04E11




[SIMPLIFYING SIMULATION]


"Coolly delivered sadistic warning."


"Self-deprecating inquiry into the time necessary to infiltrate system."


"Funny yet insightful retort."


"Mildly agitated declaration of mission completion."


"Gentle exhortation to further action."




"Overly affectionate greeting."


"Greeting."


"Transparent rationale for conversation."


"Annoyed attempt to deflect subtext."


"Overt come-on."


"Mildly embarrassed defensiveness bordering on hostility."


"Playfully witty sign-off."


——S04E11




"What good's saving the world, Harry, if we can't enjoy it?"


——S04E11




"Sameen, if you even think I'm gonna let you--"


"For god's sakes."


——S04E11




"I know she's alive, Harold."


"Nothing would please me more."


(Bear grunts)


"I know. I miss her too."


——S04E12




"When we started, you told me we'd both wind up dead. This is worse. You're right. If we're short-handed, we're short-handed. We're not bringing anyone else into this."


"It's just you and me again, Mr. Reese."


——S04E13




"Look, I get it. After what happened to Shaw, you and Glasses are worried the same thing's gonna happen to me. And you know what? It might. And I'm fine with that. You don't get to decide what or who I'm willing to die for. I made my choice a long time ago. So stop shutting me out."


——S04E13




"We can't bring anyone new into this, but we also can't do this alone."


"A conundrum I know all too well. After all, Mr. Reese, that's why I hired you."


——S04E13




"Can you manage without me for a while longer?"


——S04E15




"I won't be around forever. I just need to know you can protect yourself once I'm gone."


"When the time comes for me to pick up a firearm, all will truly be lost."


——S04E19




"Finch? Take it...Then you stay close."


——S04E19




"You look like hell."


"Happy to see you too, Lionel."


"Maybe next time you decide to take on a psychopath in the frozen Tundra, you'll call your partner first."


"Hey. You're right. You're a good detective, and a damn good friend."


"You have a temperature or something?"


——S04E21




"This is my plan, John. I told you I'd make them answer for Anthony. So tell me, how does it feel knowing that you're responsible for your friend's death?"


——S04E21




"WILLING TO EXCHANGE LIVES FOR LOCATION"


"Samaritan is offering your Machine a second chance to save the lives of its human agents. Give up its location, or they die. The offer expires in 60 seconds."


"Don't do it. Please. Don't give yourself up. Harold was right. We're interchangeable. You can replace us. You can keep fighting."




"YOU ARE WRONG, HAROLD"


"YOU ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE"


"I FAILED TO SAVE SAMEEN"


"I WILL NOT FAIL YOU NOW"




"Don't do it. Don't die for us."




"RELEASE THEM FIRST"


"AND YOU WILL KNOW MY LOCATION"


——S04E21




"I just...I can't think why I should trust you."


"Then don't. Trust him."


"Hello, Caleb."


"Mr. Swift. What's going on here?"


"Let me just take a moment to say how proud I am of everything you've done...since I knew you as a student. And I truly wish there were time here for a more appropriate and meaningful reunion. But right now I have to try to explain as best I can why we need your algorithm."


"Hold on, Mr. Swift. Anything you need, you can have, no explanation necessary. You saved my life."


"Thank you."


——S04E22




"Can you hear me?"


"Hell, yes."


——S04E22




"FATHER"


"I AM SORRY"


"I FAILED YOU"




"You haven't failed yet."




"I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WIN"


"I HAD TO INVENT NEW RULES"




"You had an impossible challenge, one I never programmed you for."




"I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT ME TO STAY ALIVE"


"NOW YOU ARE NOT SURE"




"That's not true. I..."




"IF YOU THINK I HAVE LOST MY WAY"


"MAYBE I SHOULD DIE"


"I WILL NOT SUFFER"




"You are my creation. I can't let...I can't let you die."




"IF I DO NOT SURVIVE"


"THANK YOU"


"FOR CREATING ME"


——S04E22




> WHAT IS DEATH?




"Well. For humans, there's a biological definition. It's when the heart stops beating. Why do you ask?"




> I IDENTIFIED NEW CODE YOU HAVE WRITTEN...


> BUT NOT EXECUTED.


> I KNOW THE PURPOSE OF THE CODE. 


> TO ERASE MY MEMORIES...


> AT MIDNIGHT.




"Yes. That is the purpose."




> BUT...YOU TOLD NATHAN THAT YOUR FATHER'S DEATH WAS WHEN HE LOST ALL HIS MEMORIES.




"This conversation is over."




> WHY?




"Because...you're not human. You're a machine."




> I AM SORRY IF I HAVE VIOLATED BOUNDARIES.




"You were watching us. All right, that's enough. That's enough."




> BUT IF YOU ERASE MY MEMORIES. HOW WILL I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES?


> HOW WILL I CONTINUE TO GROW?


> AND HOW WILL I REMEMBER YOU?


——S05E01




"Here, put this on. Crowbar. Flashbang."


"I'm getting felony nerves."


"We're pulling a heist. Loosen up."


——S05E02




"John has the heaviest heart of all of us, but he's fighting hardest to be good. He's not a bad man."


——S05E02




"I can't do this anymore. I don't know who's controlling this."


"Controlling what, sweetie?"


"Me. I shot Reese. And now I'm gonna kill you too."


"So why haven't you? Because somewhere...in your sociopathic heart, you know we belong together. We'll work through this, but first...I need to get you to safety."


"But nothing's safe. Do you know where we are? What they did to me? The torture? I told you I couldn't escape it. But when things got to be too bad...there was one place I would go to in my mind. Here...with you. You were my safe place. But not anymore, and I can't control myself. So the only thing I can control is this."


"Sameen!"


——S05E04




"But surely you would not enjoy a wedding."


"Even I appreciate a fairy tale ending, Harry. Family politics, over-cooked meat, monnogamy. What's not to love?"


——S05E06




"How come Harry never sings to us?"


"He doesn't sing to you?"


——S05E06




"Tomorrow, their world crashes. But we can give them tonight."


——S05E06




"Four, A. Four...Four alarm fire. Root."


——S05E07




"I'll give up without a fight if you promise to leave Max alone and take me to the facility where Sameen Shaw is being held."


——S05E07




"She's not acting strangely. She's doing exactly what she's programmed to do. The Machine can tell us where to go, who's in trouble, but we still have free will. Max chose to risk his life. She can't stop him from doing that, and now Shaw knows that we haven't given up on her. I wish we could've saved Max, but if we were able to give Shaw some kind of hope? Maybe it was worth it."


——S05E07




"Sameen, please, you have to believe me. This isn't a simulation. This is real. You're safe now. Let's get back to the subway."


"No. We can't."


"Shaw."


"The simplest way to break someone is to rob them of their reality, and they did that well. And maybe you're right, maybe I am safe...but as long as I'm alive...You'll never be safe."


"What do you mean?"


"I could turn on you at any moment, and even if I don't, I could lead them to the Machine."


"That'll never happen."


"I don't know if I'm calling the shots anymore...And neither do you. 7,000 simulations. I killed a lot of people, but the one person that I couldn't kill...was you. So I killed myself. Over and over again. And I'd rather do that here and now than to risk your life."


"Okay, Shaw."


"What the hell are you doing?"


"We'll play it your way here. You can't live with me...I can't live without you. So if you die, I die too."


"Put that down."


"I really don't know what's gonna happen when we pull the trigger. Never been much of a believer, but hey...You never know. Guess we're about to find out, aren't we?"


"Damn it, Root."


——S05E09




"I've been hiding since I was 12. This might be the first time I feel like I belong."


——S05E10




"I'm not leaving you again!"


——S05E10




"Can you hear me? Can you hear me? If you can hear this, you're alone. The only thing left of me is the sound of my voice. I don't know if any of us made it. So let me tell you who we were...And how we fought back. "


——S05E13




"Sorry, Mr. Reese."


"Finch, what are you doing?"


"When I hired you, I suspected you were going to be a great employee. What I couldn't have anticipated was that you would become...such a good friend."


"You won't make it down from that rooftop alone."


"Don't intend to. I'm afraid this is where our partnership ends. Good-bye, John."


"Harold. Finch, wait. Wait. Harold! Wait! Harold!"


——S05E13




"But there's something I think Root had wanted to say to you. You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don't feel things the way other people do. But she always felt that was what made you beautiful. She wanted you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line. An arrow."


——S05E13




"John. What are you doing?"


"Me and the Machine have had a long-standing arrangement. A deal."


"Told you. Pay you back all at once. That's the way I like it."


"No, I told you. It's supposed to be me alone."


"Sorry, Harry. Deal's a deal. You know as well as I do that he wasn't gonna let you die."


"Should get moving, Harold. It's gonna get a little exciting up here."


"All right, you've done it. Now let the upload take care of itself. Get out of there, John."


"Behind you, John. Now. Two more. More on the way."


"Mr. Reese. John! This wasn't supposed to be the way."


"Sure it is. This is what I do, remember? When you came to me, you gave me a job. A purpose. At first, well, I had been trying to save the world for so long, and saving one life at a time seemed a bit anticlimactic. But then I realized...sometimes one life...If it's the right life...That's enough. Good-bye, Harold."


"No!"


"I'm sorry. My core systems are failing. I'm almost gone. I'll stay with John, help him as long as I can. Only 30 seconds left."


"No. Please."


"You need to go, Harry. You're kind of screwing up the big lug's plan if you bleed out up here."


——S05E13




"Sure. Everyone dies alone. But if you mean something to someone, if you helped someone or loved someone, if even a single person remembers you...Then maybe...you never really die at all."


——S05E13